It's boob day focus

We never quite take them seriously, which we should, medically I mean. After all, we love how women envy another 'nice' pair of boobs and men simply love boobs. Well, most men that I know anyway.

It's a must to go for  an annual mammogram (after 40 especially) and ultrasound scan. I must admit that I do not make it my priority, and do it as the last thing on my list. (Bad bad girl).Which for me is like playing with the devil as my mom was dignosed with breast cancer just three years ago. She's completely cured, thank God for that, however, she  has to visit the hospital for her regular check-ups.

So I shouldn't be playing with the devil.  Some things I really don't have an answer for. Maybe I'm just a coward and don't want to know. Just ignore the problem, Which translates to stupidity. Because the whole boob day process just takes about 2-3 hours.

The process of the mammogram is quick though a tad uncomfortable. The nurse helps you to place each boob at a time on a plate (while you're standing) and it's squashed for like a few seconds, from the top and another from the side. So two angles on each breast, and you are done.

Then off to do the ultrasound scan, which is more painful for me, as I have an army of lumps and cysts, common in the type of  fibrocystic breast tissue kind of breasts that I happen to have. They come and they go, some stay and hurt a bit more prior to my menses. And God forbid if, like me, you love your daily coffee because it doesn't help with the discomfort.

Sorry for the digressing bit, yes, the ultrasound process is longer -- some gel is applied on each breast, and  then the breast is scanned --  every cm of it. Any bumps, lumps or cysts are detected by the machine and shown on the computer screen in front of the doctor. Just by looking at the type of shape and density of the lump, the doctor can more or less, tell you if it's a cyst or something suspicious.

The results of both tests come in films and are sent to my breast surgeon. Then it's consultation time.It's great if like me, you have a friendly and patient doctor. Because I really can get annoying with the questions that I ask. But I rather not be shy so when I leave the doctor's office I can feel a burden off my shoulders, and happy... all  ready to go out and celebrate with a mojito.  I really don't think much about it till a year later. Or, when my boyfriend discovers a lump and asks me about it. Then it's back to black, worrying days until I visit my doctor again!

Is divorce inevitable these days

Forty and divorced.  Well, I'm glad it is now common to be divorced in Malaysia as compared to years ago. I don't feel so left-out, in fact I openly say I'm divorced, so what.  Many people usually say that they are sorry to hear that, but I wonder why... it's not that the hubby fled .. it was a mutual agreement to part made by two consenting adults. 

In fact, I believe  if you no longer enjoy the journey together as a couple then you need to be unselfish and part ways so the other can continue the journey, alone or with someone else. It is not easy when a child is involved but I feel children adjust to things and it's how we explain it to them and  guide them as parents even though we may be living separately. It's never easy though.

I have no valid reasons as to why couples divorce so easily these days. But I feel that as we go through the different stages in life we need different things in our partner. We grow as individuals as we get to know ourselves better, and sometimes the person we have become doesn't complement our partner anymore. We just need to part ways to continue our journey in this life.

I care not what others think

Ahh what I love most is the fact that I'm more confident now than I ever was in my twenties. I know what I want and what I don't want, and I finally can say 'no' to a person without feeling so bad about it.

I no longer tolerate any crap from another person who is trying to bully me. I have my opinion good or bad, and I'm not afraid to be heard; and even to be told in the face that my opinion sucks, and that I'm not always right. I can handle rejection without taking it to heart. After all what is life if we cannot laugh at ourselves.

What you see is what you get. I have no time to portray an image of myself that I'm not because I'm scared you might not like me. Friends should like and accept you as you are, if not I don't think I even want them around me. I'm not here to be judged -- as no one is perfect.