My mom was always scared of dying. But I think at the end of her journey, she accepted her faith and left it in God's hands. She used to jokingly say to the doctors that she was the chosen one, or one in a million as having angio sarcoma was rare in Malaysia.
She appeared jovial yet was very scared inside. She would say that we all had a number, and once our number is up, we have to go. She also reminded us to appreciate and say all the things we wanted to say to a person when the person is alive and not when the person is dead.
But I for one seriously thought that my mom would not have gone so soon. And so there were things both of us had left unspoken.
She had the fighting spirit but her body just couldn't cope with the aggression of the cancer.It spread viciously and attacked her organs and within a year she left us.
The only solace I can find is the fact that she had her final wish of not suffering in agony and not looking like a skeleton which is the case when one dies because of cancer. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully with a hint of a smile.
It's been less than four months. The pain of losing her never ceases, but I know she would want us to be happy and to live life fully. Rest now mama.
Smiling from heaven
You
held on for as long as you could
God
saw your struggles, saw your pain
And
took you home.
Worry
not about us
Our
tears, our sorrows we cannot hide
But
in time we will get by.
Rest
now sweet Mama for nothing was in vain
We
remember all your words, your guidance
We
hear your voice within us.
We
feel your presence in our hearts
The
memories with you
we
cherish forever.
Watch
over us and guide us from above
Even
nag at us,
we
know you want to.
We
long so much to hold and hug you,
If
only for a second
And
tell you we will be fine.
We
love and miss you Mama
So
keep smiling from heaven,
until
we meet again.