The growing shopping list not grocery list

New season, Spring/Summer 2015, and new clothes, shoes and bags are churned out by designers. My favourite time of course, if I could get them all which is not possible as I have a huge appetite for beautiful stuff. Some are to- die- for and my list keeps growing ...


Fancy anything listed?

Chanel Chevron Flap Bag

Chiara Ferragni

Chiara Ferragni

Valentino Rock Stud Tote

Chiara Ferragni

Triangl Colour Block Bikini

Mansur Gavriel

Jimmy Choo

Charlotte Olympia Kitty fringed leather pouch

 Valentino Rock Studs

Givenchy Print Iphone 6

Damn you cancer

I've been having a rough time these few days. Firstly, I came back from my first proper vacation which coincided with my birthday, so I'm blaming part of it on post-holiday blues. The other part would be that my whole body is aching, God knows if it's from the cold weather in London and Brussels, or from all the chemo drugs, and now radiotherapy.

I had so many story ideas, and I had wanted to update my blog but I've just been having foggy brains, and couple that with fatigue, I just lay in bed mostly, doing nothing. I forget stuff that I want to buy. I forget dates, days, names. It can be so frustrating at times, so I've just have had to write everything down in my Moleskine. Gosh it sucks being stupid and blur, and many seconds too slow. I used to frown upon people like these, and voila, I'm one now. Karma is a bitch.

I just started radiotherapy. I've had 4 sessions out of the 20 I need. Going to hospital daily for 5 minutes of radio is a pain in the neck. I drive myself to hospital, valet for RM12, and out of there in less than half an hour. It takes longer to get ready than to actually do the treatment.

I am starting to sound and feel pretty anxious. Am I on the road to a meltdown? I've been doing so well all this time. Well, it's no fun going to the hospital and seeing sick people daily. Most have visible burn marks from the radiation; two of whom I saw was on their necks. I think that shook me up quite a bit.

So far I have not had any burnt marks. Too early, says my oncologist. Probably in 2 weeks' time, depending on my skin -- I might feel some discomfort. So for now I just need to avoid soap around the affected area when I shower; no perfume or deodorant too.

I also need to exercise the affected arm as they reckon I would feel sore and feel some tightness, which I have already experienced.

I saw my oncologist today as I had my second chemo maintenance treatment of Herceptin. That took 2 hours from beginning to end. So all in I was in the hospital for 5 hours today. To do Herceptin followed by radio is really a double whammy. I feel irritated, due to the bone ache, and also interrupted sleep I've experienced for the past few nights.

I wake up in the middle of the night with hot flashes. I'm perspiring and my body feels like it's engulfed in flames. Not a nice feeling considering I haven't even started Tamoxifen, the hormone pill I need to take for the next 5 to 10 years. It is getting a lot more depressing with all the side effects that are slowly popping up. 

My doctor prescribed some anti-inflammatory pills and also sleeping pills. I'm gonna pop some and hit the sack now.

Good nite folks. I can feel my brain shutting down. Knackered. May tomorrow be a better day for me and all those battling cancer and know what I'm going through. For those of you who are healthy, be thankful and go enjoy yourselves to the max! Don't worry about silly stuff like a bad hair day or fat thighs, all these are so trivial when you have your health.

P.S  I managed to throw in an hour or so poring over beautiful handbags and shoes online. I think I hit me a nice handbag. That saved my day.

Being aware alone is not enough

This is the month of October, the breast cancer awareness month.

Most of us know of someone who is fighting cancer, has survived it or lost the fight.  I love this quote which I came across recently:

• Support the Fighters
• Admire the Survivors
• Honour the Taken

I feel that one should not only be aware of breast cancer, you should take action. Do your monthly self-test, and most of all go to the doctor to do an ultra-sound and mammogram (for those over 40 years old, I think). Early detection saves lives. 

Besides that research indicates that 30% of cancer is due to one's lifestyle. So eat a healthy diet -- cut down or cut out, dairy products, red meat, fatty food, processed food, sugar, alcohol and smoking, and be physically active and stress-free. 

Yes easier said than done. But try everything in small steps and eventually you will start feeling better and will incorporate more of the healthy practices into your lifestyle. Of course, you're allowed to have cheat days -- like that night out eating a succulent steak accompanied by a few glasses of red wine. Then get back on track the next day.

Yeah I know what you're thinking? You know of people that have led a healthy lifestyle and yet got breast cancer or some other form of cancer. That's true, no research is conclusive as to why our cancer cells become active. Ask any doctor, and she or he can't give you a firm answer simply because they don't know why. There are many factors involved.

There are many people who are smoking like a chimney, and boozing daily and eating meat frequently and they are still living right into their 80's. 

Well, I just reckon that you do your part in being healthy and stress-free and, the rest is out of our hands.

Back to the Pink October Month, as you all probably know that my mom passed away in June last year due to angio sarcoma of the breast. I, of all people should know better than to not get my breasts checked regularly. That's why I'm advising ladies to go get their breasts checked. 

My hubby pestered me to get an appoinment since February last year. But I still kept putting off visiting my doctor for my yearly check-up until one day I felt the pain in my ribs and numbness in my left arm, and finally found that painful lump just way at the bottom of my left breast.

So, take it from me, make the time and brave yourself to see the doctor now. It's so much better than having to go through chemo and fighting for your life.

* This video is great. Please watch it and share. It was done by a breast cancer support group here in Malaysia that consists of mainly breast cancer survivors and warriors; a truly helpful group of women whom I admire greatly for their strength, and for their generousity in sharing their knowledge to other breast cancer survivors, and everyone in general to raise the awareness of breast cancer.