What cancer has taught me (Part 2)

I've always been impatient be it waiting in line at the post-office or waiting to see a doctor. However after being in and out of hospital over the span of more than six months, I have learnt to be patient. Because no matter who you are, when you are undergoing chemo, you have to go through so many procedures prior to getting the go ahead from your oncologist to do your treatment on chemo day.

You will deal with so many people from the nurse taking your blood sample to the receptionist handling your insurance details, and you need patience to get you through it all. Each treatment day can drag on to up to 6 hours from the moment you step into the chemo ward till the time you walk out of the hospital.

I usually prefer to go alone as I don't relish the idea of another person waiting that long with me. Of course, my sweet hubby insists on accompanying me whenever he is in town.

I also realized that I'm more patient when I'm stuck in a traffic jam or if another driver is annoying the hell out of me. I simply ignore it all, and turn up the music in the car and move like a crazy driver. Music can certainly change your mood for the better.

Cancer has certainly thought me to forget my vanity. There is no room for that.

My skin changed, albeit temporary, to a dullish grey tone from all the medication that I'm taking. I've gone bald. My nails have discoloured. My boobs that I was quite proud of as I could go braless anytime, have changed due to my lumpectomy. In spite of these physical changes, I have just accepted them and done all I can to make myself feel and look nice.

I bought wigs, scarves, hats and caps, wore makeup and simply dressed-up to face each day. It wasn't easy at first but going through what I have, these are so small issues to deal with.

I was so afraid that my hubby would not find me attactive and desirable anymore. But I was wrong, he stood by me through it all, in fact he teased me about my baldness and sent me picture messages of E.T and Gollum and said I looked like them. Laughter and humour kept things going between us.
Also the nature of his job was a blessing as he didn't get to see me when I was in the doldrums.

There were days that I felt and asked myself 'why me' -- when I'm the kind of person who is drawn to physical beauty. Why had I to get cancer? And now more than before I know that people are more than that.

You can be loved for what's inside of you coz beauty fades over time but kindness, generosity, empathy, honesty, integrity, warmth and sincerity are what matter in a person. Every one is beautiful in their own way but true beauty emanates from within. When you are beautiful inside you shine on the outside.

http://youtu.be/eAfyFTzZDMM