Thursday, January 08, 2015

Cancer friends

When you have cancer, you kinda relate to those who have cancer, or have been there before. You become instant friends due to the inherent understanding you have of each others' condition, emotions and most importantly, fear.

You see that same look in their eyes, the ones that stare back at you each time you look in your own mirror. Eyes that tell a story. Mostly from fear. Fear if our bodies can undergo chemo, fear if the cancer will ever return and fear at our own helplessness when dealing with something that has a mind of its own.

Every time I go for my chemo I meet new ladies; all waiting to see the same oncologist. Since we sometimes have to wait for a long time, we do chat with one another, and the topics always revolve around each others' diagnosis, cause for the cancer, treatments, medical charges and what each of us are doing to fight cancer.

I met this particular cancer patient yesterday; this is the second time I'm meeting her. She is in her sixties, and from Indonesia (she is seeking treatment in Kuala Lumpur), and had her final maintenance treatment for Herceptin yesterday. She asked me a lot of questions about diet and nutrition for cancer. 
if you love fruits, go for these
She had many friends and family members that advised her to eat certain kinds of food. And she asked me if I was on any diet. I had my fair share of unsolicited advice from people who meant well, but seriously, the only advice I'm listening to are the ones from my doctors, cancer survivors and researches that are scientically proven.

I know diet and nutrition play an important role in healing from cancer, but I also know there are other factors that contribute to cancer. Recently I even read an article that say it's just plain bad luck that we get cancer. Yeah, and I do believe so, because you can have no history of family cancer, be an exercise freak, eat healthy food diligently, dont smoke or consume alcohol, and still have cancer!

I felt so sorry for this cancer friend and asked her if she was happy with her food and lifestyle. She said no. She was so fed up with boiled vegetables, no meat, no egg, no milk kinda diet; the list just seemed endless and ridiculous to me.

when I feel like it I
 eat my favourite scallop dish 
She asked me for my advice, and I told her, if it wasn't making her happy then what was the use of having to live if we were sad and not enjoying ourselves. Cancer changes you in so many ways, but one thing for sure is that it teaches you to seize the day, and be happy. And you can't do that if you keep worrying if you should be eating a mouthful of ice-cream and if you did, would that make your cancer return!

 Everything in moderation is my motto for now.

And when it was her turn to see the doctor, I wished her well, and hope to be bumping into her during her follow-up visits. I just hope she relaxes and enjoys her life.

She mentioned that each visit was costing her RM11,000 and that cancer was a lifelong battle. The worry never ends even when you have no evidence of disease or N.E.D. Arghhhh I never quite thought of it that way.