Friday, October 24, 2014

Reality Check

Enjoying the last few good days left before I start on chemo number 5 on Tuesday, 28 Oct. It is the first one of 12 cycles (times) on the second phase of my chemo treatments.
Hope it goes well with my body with minimal side effects. Since I need to do it weekly for 3 bloody months, I need all the strength -- mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Would appreciate no drama during this time. I seem to be absorbing lots of negativity from the actions of other people. And seriously I could do with none of it. 
I'm the sort of person that loves to delve into things, probe into details, and in the end it affects me so badly. Sometimes people do not know that their actions affect me so much. I'm trying to not allow anything to affect me but it is a work in progress.
I have been praying on and off. I do believe that prayers from all my family members and friends are helping me tremendously. I thank everyone of you. I believe the prayers are helping me as I'm coping well with the side effects of chemo. 
Bald, blackish nail beds, dry skin and weird taste buds are nothing compared to what others are going through. I'm ever so grateful chemo has been kind to me so far.
Of course, some days I feel low as I hate to rely on others to help me. I hate feeling tired. I hate being a party pooper. I'm having cancer and I don't expect my hubs, Megan or my family to just focus on me, they have their lives.
Most battles you fight, you fight on your own anyway. Just as, if you die, people think about you less and less as the days go by.
Life just continues.
Thinking of death finally. It's time for me to research on the stats of how great are my chances of remission, etc for the kind of bitch of a cancer that I have. I can't put it off any longer.
It is only when faced with death that one comes alive.
.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Being aware alone is not enough



This is the month of October, the breast cancer awareness month.
Most of us know of someone who is fighting cancer, has survived it or lost the fight.  I love this quote which I came across recently:
  • Support the Fighters
  • Admire the Survivors
  • Honour the Taken
I feel that one should not only be aware of breast cancer, you should take action. Do your monthly self-test, and most of all go to the doctor to do an ultra-sound and mammogram (for those over 40 years old, I think). Early detection saves lives. 

Besides that research indicates that 30% of cancer is due to one's lifestyle. So eat a healthy diet -- cut down or cut out, dairy products, red meat, fatty food, processed food, sugar, alcohol and smoking, and be physically active and stress-free. 
Yes easier said than done. But try everything in small steps and eventually you will start feeling better and will incorporate more of the healthy practices into your lifestyle. Of course, you're allowed to have cheat days -- like that night out eating a succulent steak accompanied by a few glasses of red wine. Then get back on track the next day.

Yeah I know what you're thinking? You know of people that have led a healthy lifestyle and yet got breast cancer or some other form of cancer. That's true, no research is conclusive as to why our cancer cells become active. Ask any doctor, and she or he can't give you a firm answer simply because they don't know why. There are many factors involved.


There are many people who are smoking like a chimney, and boozing daily and eating meat frequently and they are still living right into their 80's. 


Well, I just reckon that you do your part in being healthy and stress-free and, the rest is out of our hands.


Back to the Pink October Month, as you all probably know that my mom passed away in June last year due to angio sarcoma of the breast. I, of all people should know better than to not get my breasts checked regularly. That's why I'm advising ladies to go get their breasts checked. 
My hubby pestered me to get an appoinment since February last year. But I still kept putting off visiting my doctor for my yearly check-up until one day I felt the pain in my ribs and numbness in my left arm, and finally found that painful lump just way at the bottom of my left breast.
So, take it from me, make the time and brave yourself to see the doctor now. It's so much better than having to go through chemo and fighting for your life.
* This video is great. Please watch it and share. It was done by a breast cancer support group here in Malaysia that consists of mainly breast cancer survivors and warriors; a truly helpful group of women whom I admire greatly for their strength, and for their generousity in sharing their knowledge to other breast cancer survivors, and everyone in general to raise the awareness of breast cancer.

Friday, October 03, 2014

Braving it for Chemotherapy

I've had 3 cyles of chemotherapy, each 3 weeks apart from the other. My next one is on Wednesday, 8th October.

I was really scared and didnt know what to expect for the first one. I read about how other patients reacted to them, (must remember everyone reacts to it differently) and I also asked my oncologist a whole load of questions prior to the treatment. He was very patient and his answers left me feeling confident that I would be fine.

My husband accompanied me for my first 2 cycles. I brought along my prayer book, some books to read, head-phones, ipad, some mints and a bottle of water. I decided to go alone for the third one, however, I got my friend to pick me up from the hospital after my treatment was over.

The whole process from getting your blood taken for a test, seeing your doctor and finally getting the go ahead to do your treatment takes around 3 to 4 hours. So it's fun to have someone to chat with for a bit, music to calm your nerves and some reading if you are up to it.

Chemo cocktail of AC drugs


My daughter made me this to remember that this is a healing journey for me; to get rid of all
the cancer cells, if any is still lurking around somewhere in my body.


The nurses at the chemotherapy daycare centre are all super good and friendly, and that makes things a whole lot easier for you. Especially when you're scared and need some reassurance that everything is gonna be alright.


I've always been scared of needles. Having a chemo port makes the process less painful.


All smiles just as the nurse is about to start the process.


Once the chemo drugs have been administered, they put you on drips for another 45 minutes. Then you're good to go.



Phew, the feeling when it's over and you just wanna go home and rest.
It takes about 4 hours when I start to feel all weird and nauseous, and it lasts between 4 to 7 days. After that I'm back to normal. I can eat, do my morning walks, cook, even go out for some shopping.