8 Things To Do When You're Feeling Blue

"When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do, is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue". In 1998, Phil Collins sang this hit song, "A Groovy Kind of Love".  I just played the song as at one time I was into this song. It brings back memories of youth, love, excitement, opportunities and dreams. I was 30 years old then, a copywriter in one of the busiest advertising agencies in Kuala Lumpur, earning big bucks, and engaged to be married. 

And today I'm just having one of those days when I'm feeling low. And to tell you the truth listening to "A Groovy Kind of Love" on this gloomy afternoon (the sun is hiding) hasn't helped one bit. Makes me want to grab a glass of white wine and get sloshed! But being a responsible adult that I am, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do to get out of this melancholic mood. 

1.  Note to self: Don't listen to sad, love songs. Instead, listen to dance music; since I dance bachata and line dancing, those upbeat songs do help uplift my mood. I just have to play like 500 happy songs today.

2.  Go for some pampering; like a facial and hair treatment/hairwash which I did earlier today. I'm in a better mood for this. Try a manicure, pedicure, reflexology, massage, etc, whatever that relaxes you. If you don't wanna spend money, then DIY at home. Play music, have a glass of wine and soak in some aromatherapy oils.

3. If I had the cash, I would definitely opt for retail therapy. Buying those Chanel espadrilles if I can't get a hold of the Chanel mini bag will definitely make me smile and do a bachata move. Since I don't, then the next close thing would be looking at beautiful fashion on Insta,You Tube,Farfetch or Net-a-porter. Well, that's my go to. If you're not into material stuff and all for creating memories and experiences, then I would say go spend some time in nature. Go for a walk, or hike. I love going to the park, especially the one at Desa Park City, it's dog-friendly, and after that you have a few options of restaurants to chill at.

4. Exercise, I like hitting the gym for some HIIT. You perspire loads and you release endorphins. Endorphins help trigger a positive feeling in the body. So you're gonna feel happy. I wish I still kept my boxing gloves coz boxing is one of my favourite sports to get rid of this lousy lethargic feeling. 

5. I watch comedies. My favourite right now is Grace and Frankie. Those two are hilarious plus they give me a glimpse into the lives of older women who rely on themselves and not their partners, as both were left on their own by their husbands, who came out of the closet and decided to marry one another. When life just changed drastically for them in a bizarre way, they had no choice but to come to terms with it and make the best of the situation they found themselves in. They were playing women in their seventies and they still managed to start a business, selling vibrators for elderly women who suffered from arthritis. Talk about starting over at that age. It inspires me a lot. Keep your partner/hubby close, but keep your girlfriends closer.

6.Reminisce the good old happy days by going through family photos. Just looking at the evolving fashion, hairstyles and funny poses when they hadn't any selfies, and people printed photos, can make you laugh. Well it does for me, especially when I see some of the hairstyles I had when growing up. Gosh! So glad they invented the hair straightening cream and my mom allowed me to try it; my life changed for the better after that, I swear. I wasn't just the bookworm but started looking decent.

7. Stay away from sugar. You don't want the high then slump that you get when you take sugar. What I do is tovfill a large container of water and keep it beside me and take regular sips. This helps me to feel full and therefore not succumb to any sweets; not even fruits. It's like, that lie you tell yourself, "I'll only have one scoop of ice-cream", but trust me it doesn't end well, especially if you have weak willpower. I have failed many times, therefore, don't go there. 

8. Play Dr Phil, by that I mean you sit in a comfy spot and you look within yourself and ask yourself why you feel this way. Did something or someone trigger this feeling? In my case it's mainly from the tamoxifen I'm taking to prevent my cancer from recurring. It messes up with my hormones and makes me a sad, fat person. If you can't control this feeling or situation that trigger this feeling then do all you can to avoid them. 

If the suggestions above fails, I turn to my dog, oops I don't have one at this point in time, but just go find a dog (they have pet cafes that you can go and pet and play with random dogs) and hang out with it. Dogs relax me and understand me better than humans.

If nothing helps, then please seek professional help.

Find your joy, find your passion in dancing!

When I was eight years old, I had a classmate named Sara who was a dancer. Coming from a wealthy family, Sara attended ballet and tap dance classes; things that were uncommon during my childhood.

The majority of my other classmates and I were from middle-income families and extracurricular activities such as dancing that incurred a fee weren't within our families' means. Oh, how I loved to watch Sara perform during our concerts. She was a beautiful girl, both inside and out --sweet, friendly, and talented, and was well-loved by both her friends and teachers.

Sara knew that my parents couldn't afford dance class for me. Whenever we gathered around her to ask her about her dancing, she would show us some of her dance steps and even taught us how to do them. That made her even more popular. I envied Sara, and her life. I was so disappointed that my parents couldn't afford dance classes for me. Being the youngest of five children, my parents had other more important bills to worry about. But of course, back then I didn't understand.

All I knew was that I was so into dancing and wanted to learn just like Sara was. I practically begged and cried so my mom would cave in and send me to classes but my mom kept repeating to me that we hadn't enough money for that.

So every chance I had, I would ask Sara to teach me more dance moves, both ballet and tap dance, and she obliged.

I didn't let anything deter me from dancing; if it was free, I was in. Whenever I had the opportunity to learn dancing, any kind of dancing such as the traditional Malay dance taught by any of the school teachers, I would sign up for it. I was always one of the best dancers in the group, and during concerts the teachers would position me in front of the group to lead the girls.

While Sara excelled in her performances the wealthy could afford and the poor look up towards, I excelled and enjoyed learning dances that were taught for free and shone at concerts. My dad, who played the trumpet, and comes from a musically-inclined background, attended all my performances. He sat at the front row to show his support. And he would later go on to tell me how the other parents would compliment me on my dancing. I felt great and I knew he was proud of his little girl. I even remember leading the dance team, doing the Hawaiian Dance during the school sports day.

Move forward today -- the millennials are a fortunate bunch as they can take up whatever they want to as we, parents, can afford it. My 15-year-old daughter is currently looking for a contemporary dance dance teacher. Like any other parent I had enrolled her in ballet, tap dance and contemporary dance when she was much younger. She didn't show any crazy passion for any, sadly. But she did perform well and was the eye candy at her concerts.  Today I attend all of her performances, mainly acting, and some dancing taught in her school. I want her to be exposed to the different dances out there but to also be the one who wanted to attend this classes because she is interested in the dance. Nothing good happens when you force a kid to learn something that she isn't passionate about.

I, on the other hand, have enrolled in salsa and bachata classes, and recently, line dancing. It's more than six months since I started learning bachata and I truly enjoy it. It is a partner dance, led by the male. I think perhaps, in bachata, you are as good as the guy that leads you. I do get frustrated at times, so I have now started line dancing classes.

My teenager thinks line dancing is for older folks, so she told me I was old for doing it. Who cares, as long I have fun dancing, and meet other women who love dancing. It does help boost your memory as you have to remember all the steps and coordinated moves. I exercise regularly and yet I find certain muscles sore the next day after dancing; so I guess it is a great way to exercise too! My mom would be proud as we dance to awesome country and western songs and it does bring back fond memories of her singing to the songs.

Till today I think about Sara. We lost contact in secondary school. The last I heard she had quit professional dancing and was doing charity work in Singapore.

During bachata dance practice, April 2018