Enjoying the last few good days left before I start on chemo number 5 on Tuesday, 28 Oct. It is the first one of 12 cycles (times) on the second phase of my chemo treatments.
Hope it goes well with my body with minimal side effects. Since I need to do it weekly for 3 bloody months, I need all the strength -- mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Would appreciate no drama during this time. I seem to be absorbing lots of negativity from the actions of other people. And seriously I could do with none of it.
I'm the sort of person that loves to delve into things, probe into details, and in the end it affects me so badly. Sometimes people do not know that their actions affect me so much. I'm trying to not allow anything to affect me but it is a work in progress.
I have been praying on and off. I do believe that prayers from all my family members and friends are helping me tremendously. I thank everyone of you. I believe the prayers are helping me as I'm coping well with the side effects of chemo.
Bald, blackish nail beds, dry skin and weird taste buds are nothing compared to what others are going through. I'm ever so grateful chemo has been kind to me so far.
Of course, some days I feel low as I hate to rely on others to help me. I hate feeling tired. I hate being a party pooper. I'm having cancer and I don't expect my hubs, Megan or my family to just focus on me, they have their lives.
Most battles you fight, you fight on your own anyway. Just as, if you die, people think about you less and less as the days go by.
Life just continues.
Thinking of death finally. It's time for me to research on the stats of how great are my chances of remission, etc for the kind of bitch of a cancer that I have. I can't put it off any longer.
It is only when faced with death that one comes alive.
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