Stolen wedding ring, death and peaceful sleep.

Just a year ago, my daughter and I were in Belgium enjoying the summer holiday.  We stayed at the vicinity of Grand Place and had a few days to scour the area for interesting and highly recommended restaurants, cafes and specialty shops.

Life seemed relaxed and I finally thought that perhaps, once my post-chemo treatments were over I could once again get back to the normalcy of life. Stress-free and cancer-free. But certainly not husband-free.

I really did think that the worse was probably over.

I have to mention the story of my wedding band which was stolen from the safe box in a hotel in Bali last year. I have since stopped talking to my so called best-friend over this incident. My husband then bought me another ring to replace the lost one. Call it bad luck or whatever, but roll on less than a year from that horrible experience, it might have been better if I didn't even bother to replace that ring. It reminds me of the bad memories related to it, and the ring is insignificant now. I don't wear it anymore.

Today, I have to pinch myself or I might think that I'm dreaming. My life has changed. I travel less, I shop less, I feel less hungry to accumulate material goods. I know if I should die, I could never take any of my beautiful Chanel handbags or Valentino heels with me. God forbid if my family decides to dress me up in my designer fashion as my last farewell and then off to be cremated in them. I must remind them to not do so.

When I was in my twenties, I was fascinated with death and used to read up all I could to know what happens to us when we die. I even had a cassette (yeah, that long ago) with a compilation of songs that I wanted played at my funeral. And ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2014, I have been thinking about death. I used to be scared of it but I'm less scared now.

One of my friends, who was also undergoing chemotherapy at the same time that I was, had died unexpectedly in May this year. She was in her early thirties. She was a brave person and so full of life, and never once did she question why the hell she had cancer or moan about the harsh effects of the treatments. She fought it like a true champion. I was very heartbroken when I found out that she had died. Her family have been having memorial parties for her in a few cities around the world to celebrate her beautiful life. And this is an awesome way to bid farewell to a beautiful soul.

I believe that there are so many friends and family members who had been taken away too soon and they are now watching over me, and when my time comes they will guide me over to the other side. And it wouldn't be so bad after all.

I have my second year full medical check-up tomorrow. I'm hoping I'm in remission and that all the stress from the past few months had not affected my health.

I may have a somewhat different life now.

I may not be a globe-trotter but I'm happy to be finally 'home' and having the peaceful sleep I had been deprived of all these years. I actually feel safe and happy.