Reflections On Mother's Day. One advice my mom gave that I should have listened to.

My mom may not have had the highest of tertiary education but she sure as hell knows a lot about life from the school of hard knocks. Her experiences in life made her a strong person, and no matter what kind of relationship you may have with your mother, you know deep within that some of the stuff your mothers stress on are usually right. 

She may not have the tact to tell you nicely but do listen to her two cents worth as mothers have seen it, done it, and heck don't wish the same for their children.

This Mother's Day, I actually had a few moments to reminisce on my life and to ponder on all that my mom had instilled in me. Being a single mom, I often wondered, if I had listened to just half of what she was saying,  would I be in the position I find myself in today?

Lessons from my mom :
Firstly, always have a job and career. Never depend solely on a man, even if he is your husband, for financial support. Women need to be financially independent, for you never know when you have to rely on yourself alone to continue living the life that you have been accustomed to.

You lose a little of yourself and your voice when you have to depend on a man. If things do turn sour, you will always have your career to fall back into and to carry on with life. Money is important so we can  do what we want and need in life. Don't let love, family or kids blind you to everything. You need to have savings, and a career. Period.

I feel I may have failed on this advise as two years ago, I lost my business and ever since then I have been struggling to make a comeback, whether it is to find new employment or to start a new business. I lost everything in that business, and just as it is when things just change, I went through a divorce at the same time. So life was low at that time but then again I met my current partner then and that helped me to pull through the rough patches.

Note to myself: Get your finances in order. Follow your passion and the money will flow. Stay focused and just do it. Perseverance pays.

My mom also told me many years ago when I first started dating, that you should be with a guy that loves you more than you love him. I've no idea why she believes this but I guess when someone loves you more than you do them then it is harder for them to hurt you, and if they do hurt you, you are in a better position to pick yourself up from the break up. I may be wrong on this one but I have no idea or how on earth to measure if my partner loves me more than I do him.

All I do know is it's important to be with someone that you trust, respect and love, and both of you  complement each other. As long as he doesn't have obvious flaws like being a gambler, womanizer or drunk then the rest I can be deal with.

My mom also advised us to never ever be with a man if he ever hits us. Just leave. "No second chances on this one, " she said. "Once he lays his hands on you, he will always do so." Thank God I never went out with such a guy.

One thing I really admire in my mom is that she is such a fighter besides of course having a big, kind heart.
My mom, till today at the age of 77, is a strong-willed person who is going to all lengths to fight for her life. She has angio sarcoma of the breasts and has gone through three major surgeries in the span of  nine months. She is still battling on. She wants to live. 

I know deep within I do have that fighting spirit, thanks to her, and life is going to be just fine if I hold on to her words of wisdom.

Happy Mother's Day.

Do You Hide Things From Your Partner

Is it alright to hide things like meeting someone in an airport and chatting with them, and then keeping in touch with them from your partner?

Let's say your partner is very open and talks about everything to you, and both of you are honest with one another; so is it fair if you hide things from each other at times especially when it concerns meeting and making new friends with someone of the opposite sex.

Do you not tell because you just simply didn't t think it was important, or you don't want your partner to know and be jealous or suspicious, or you just want to have some fun on the side and hope you will not be found out.

If nothing comes out of it then no harm done for not telling and you have a new friend of the opposite sex.

But what happens when you get found out, or you casually develop a liking for your newfound friend, and things progress deeper and you develop feelings.

Have you been fair to your partner?

If you are still new in a relationship and this happens, it may be the case that you are not ready for a serious relationship and commitment with your partner.

If this happens when you are already together for a long time, more than three years for example, it could be a case of boredom.  I may be generalizing too much here, but bottom line is if you hide something from your partner you probably have to ask yourself this; why am I doing this?

I lost my perfect vision on my 40th birthday, I swear

I woke up a day after my 40th birthday, and my vision was blur.

Before this I had perfect vision.

I rubbed my eyes, and things looked blur. It wasn't so obvious at first, but as the weeks when by, I was straining my eyes to read the newspapers in the morning. And it sure was a struggle to read the text messages on my Iphone. I had to increase the font size, better still squint my eyes, and that formed small tiny lines on my forehead. Heaven forbid!

Anyway, that's the first tell-tale sign that a lady is in her forties (as you know it is quite difficult to guess an Asian ladies age).She has her reading glasses on, or she is caught squinting her eyes while reading her text messages and food menu.

I had my eyes checked and welcomed reading glasses into my life.

Since I only need glasses for reading, it can be a little of a chore to slip them on when you need them and off again post-reading. And as time passes by I know my vision is just gonna deteriorate. So whenever I'm in front of the computer or reading I take a break every half an hour or so to relax my eyes, hoping this helps.

Well, this is all part of moving along in life, I so hate the word growing old or ageing. Sounds like I'm on my way out.

I still have lots on my bucket list before I kick the bucket I want to be able to complete every darn item on it.

Diet Pills Alone Don't Work, You Need To Get Physical!

That's the simple reality of it all, the diet pills, or weight management pills, work best when you combine it with a healthy meal and some form of physical activity.

After just relying on the pills for a month or so , I didn't lose weight. It was just a waste of money and it made me feel nauseous and moody at times.

Your metabolism slows down when you hit your mid 30's and downhill in your 40's.

I dislike working out in the gym. I prefer doing different type of  fun exercises so it doesn't get boring. One day swimming, another day walking up the hill, and another just dancing away.

I discovered an exercise boot camp near my home. Two trainers guide a group of 20 campers to do a combination of strength and endurance training for an hour. It's pretty tough but fun as the set of exercises are always different and you get to exercise with others outdoor, three times a week.

Losing the inches through exercise

It has been two weeks and I look forward to it. I think I may have shed some weight off without dwelling too much on it. It was just exciting to complete the set of exercises, feeling out of breath, and sweating buckets in the process of it all. I'm starting to feel fit once again. And that feels pretty good!

The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight

In my twenties, it was easy to lose weight. Just cut down on food for a week, minus any exercise, and the weight just dropped off.

In my thirties, it was easy too. Just had to starve yourself from all the yummy stuff, including booze, and in ten days the weight would be gone.

But when you hit 40, not only is your eyesight getting from bad to worse, but so is your waistline.

No matter how hard I try; exercise, sit-ups, watching my diet, even to the extend of writing in a food journal everything I put into my mouth; and the bloody weight is just so hard to lose. I totally hate this part.

My tummy looks bloated as if I was five months pregnant. And every darn pants I slipped into looked like I have tree trunks for legs. And don't even mention the ass.

So to the rescue, is some diet pills sold by GNC. Today is the fifth day, I've taken them. Will have to see, if I notice anything soon. Holding my breath for a miracle here.

One crazy year has gone by

More than a year has passed by since I last wrote my true thoughts.

I left everything within me, carrying a huge baggage. And it's time to de-clutter and get rid of the excess.

Reading back my blog posts, I seemed to have changed too. Life has a way at catching you off-guard when you are having so much fun, and throwing you in the deep. Swim or drown, you decide.

But most importantly, you have survived.

My journey was unpleasant and challenging, but I've learnt so much about myself and other people. It's when you are in trouble that you know who your true friends are, and I must say it that you need your family.

You must appreciate your family, and your true friends, and let them know that too. Because let me tell you, when you are down, they are the ones always there for you. It can be time consuming and draining to be with someone who is going through a trauma in life. So, I'm grateful to my family and close friends.

I'm dealing with what has happened, a day at a time.

Most people deal with one trauma at a time. But me being me, when it rained, not only did it pour, it freaking flooded.

If I can go though such life-wrenching drama, anyone else can. Because guess what? We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

Love and peace xxx

It's boob day focus

We never quite take them seriously, which we should, medically I mean. After all, we love how women envy another 'nice' pair of boobs and men simply love boobs. Well, most men that I know anyway.

It's a must to go for  an annual mammogram (after 40 especially) and ultrasound scan. I must admit that I do not make it my priority, and do it as the last thing on my list. (Bad bad girl).Which for me is like playing with the devil as my mom was dignosed with breast cancer just three years ago. She's completely cured, thank God for that, however, she  has to visit the hospital for her regular check-ups.

So I shouldn't be playing with the devil.  Some things I really don't have an answer for. Maybe I'm just a coward and don't want to know. Just ignore the problem, Which translates to stupidity. Because the whole boob day process just takes about 2-3 hours.

The process of the mammogram is quick though a tad uncomfortable. The nurse helps you to place each boob at a time on a plate (while you're standing) and it's squashed for like a few seconds, from the top and another from the side. So two angles on each breast, and you are done.

Then off to do the ultrasound scan, which is more painful for me, as I have an army of lumps and cysts, common in the type of  fibrocystic breast tissue kind of breasts that I happen to have. They come and they go, some stay and hurt a bit more prior to my menses. And God forbid if, like me, you love your daily coffee because it doesn't help with the discomfort.

Sorry for the digressing bit, yes, the ultrasound process is longer -- some gel is applied on each breast, and  then the breast is scanned --  every cm of it. Any bumps, lumps or cysts are detected by the machine and shown on the computer screen in front of the doctor. Just by looking at the type of shape and density of the lump, the doctor can more or less, tell you if it's a cyst or something suspicious.

The results of both tests come in films and are sent to my breast surgeon. Then it's consultation time.It's great if like me, you have a friendly and patient doctor. Because I really can get annoying with the questions that I ask. But I rather not be shy so when I leave the doctor's office I can feel a burden off my shoulders, and happy... all  ready to go out and celebrate with a mojito.  I really don't think much about it till a year later. Or, when my boyfriend discovers a lump and asks me about it. Then it's back to black, worrying days until I visit my doctor again!