Reflections On Mother's Day. One advice my mom gave that I should have listened to.

My mom may not have had the highest of tertiary education but she sure as hell knows a lot about life from the school of hard knocks. Her experiences in life made her a strong person, and no matter what kind of relationship you may have with your mother, you know deep within that some of the stuff your mothers stress on are usually right. 

She may not have the tact to tell you nicely but do listen to her two cents worth as mothers have seen it, done it, and heck don't wish the same for their children.

This Mother's Day, I actually had a few moments to reminisce on my life and to ponder on all that my mom had instilled in me. Being a single mom, I often wondered, if I had listened to just half of what she was saying,  would I be in the position I find myself in today?

Lessons from my mom :
Firstly, always have a job and career. Never depend solely on a man, even if he is your husband, for financial support. Women need to be financially independent, for you never know when you have to rely on yourself alone to continue living the life that you have been accustomed to.

You lose a little of yourself and your voice when you have to depend on a man. If things do turn sour, you will always have your career to fall back into and to carry on with life. Money is important so we can  do what we want and need in life. Don't let love, family or kids blind you to everything. You need to have savings, and a career. Period.

I feel I may have failed on this advise as two years ago, I lost my business and ever since then I have been struggling to make a comeback, whether it is to find new employment or to start a new business. I lost everything in that business, and just as it is when things just change, I went through a divorce at the same time. So life was low at that time but then again I met my current partner then and that helped me to pull through the rough patches.

Note to myself: Get your finances in order. Follow your passion and the money will flow. Stay focused and just do it. Perseverance pays.

My mom also told me many years ago when I first started dating, that you should be with a guy that loves you more than you love him. I've no idea why she believes this but I guess when someone loves you more than you do them then it is harder for them to hurt you, and if they do hurt you, you are in a better position to pick yourself up from the break up. I may be wrong on this one but I have no idea or how on earth to measure if my partner loves me more than I do him.

All I do know is it's important to be with someone that you trust, respect and love, and both of you  complement each other. As long as he doesn't have obvious flaws like being a gambler, womanizer or drunk then the rest I can be deal with.

My mom also advised us to never ever be with a man if he ever hits us. Just leave. "No second chances on this one, " she said. "Once he lays his hands on you, he will always do so." Thank God I never went out with such a guy.

One thing I really admire in my mom is that she is such a fighter besides of course having a big, kind heart.
My mom, till today at the age of 77, is a strong-willed person who is going to all lengths to fight for her life. She has angio sarcoma of the breasts and has gone through three major surgeries in the span of  nine months. She is still battling on. She wants to live. 

I know deep within I do have that fighting spirit, thanks to her, and life is going to be just fine if I hold on to her words of wisdom.

Happy Mother's Day.