So much can happen within a year

I haven't written for nearly a year.

So much has happened, some good, some bad but all life-changing and need some adapting to on my path and those I'm close to.

Since my last post my fiancee and I went on a three week holiday to Europe. We visited Chamonix (France), Venice & Riomanggiore (Italy), and Belgium. It was an insightful holiday, more soul-searching whilst absorbing the lovely connections each place offered us. In a way it helped me heal within the many issues surrounding the death of someone who you always thought would be around. Many questions lingered but it always ended with the knowledge that the loved one is no longer suffering and is resting peacefully now.

We visited Iceland too at the end of the year but that was more for a medical purpose, so my fiancee could get his vision corrected. That would need another blog entry as it was one of the most beautiful countries I had ever visited, and the coldest too. I experienced snow for the very first time, yes, better late than never.

Earlier this year, I received some bad news on a trial that was ongoing for more than 2 years. The old, sick pervert was acquitted for all his wrongdoings. And we had lost two people along the way, and many lives, including mine have been shattered; which may require life-time counselling. But most importantly, a wrong act was not brought to justice, and innocent, helpless individuals were hurt and still hurting till today. The case is being appealed but I don't really care anymore. Justice will be served when this monster is dead.

Along the way I learnt about forgiveness. I didn't quite understand it at first. How could I forgive someone who had done evil to the one I love? But I slowly learnt that to forgive doesn't mean to accept what the person has done. It is just to acknowledge the situation and to move along. It's for your to heal and to get on with life. It's about me and not the perpetrator.

I guess that took awhile to sink in. All the accumulated stress didn't help me at all. My body was toxic, thriving on acidity.

Just a month after that we were in the middle of re-locating to a new country because my fiancee had a new job. My daughter was home-schooled for a few months, and we were getting used to a foreign land. The culture and lifestyle were very much alien to us but as with all things you do get used to it over time. In the mean time we made new friends and visited new places which were really fun.

I started feeling some numbness in my left arm, and some soreness in my left ribcage. I didnt think much of it and thought that the pain would go away eventually. I knew I was heading back to KL soon so if the pain was still there I would get it checked out.

Then things got pretty busy as we were getting married in June. A lot of preparation had to be done when one marries a foreigner. Documents needed to be translated to English, and endorsed by the Embassy before we could get them in order for submission. In all that excitement, I somewhat forgot about my discomfort in my arm. We had a small wedding celebration and were planning on going on our honeymoon when my hubby had his next vacation as he had just joined a new company. Bora Bora was worth the wait.

My mom's one year death anniversary was on the 29 June 2014.  Just few weeks before that I kept thinking of her more that I normally did, and dreamt of her.  Since the pain was still there, I self-examined my breast and found a lump just at the bottom of my left breast. It hurt and I just knew something wasn't right. The lumps I had prior to this never hurt this way. I made an appoinment with my regular breast doctor right away.

On 30th June 2014, my doctor told me that I had breast cancer. My world just collapsed. I had so many plans.