A poem to myself

Hey you,

Be sad, cry, rant, punch a bag

Just feel your pain, your anger,

Then accept the hurt and grief

And walk on 

These feelings like all good or bad don't last

You will smile once again

Even laugh tears of joy

You will look back at this moment in your life 

and count your blessings 

The bad times that crushed the fragile you 

And the inner sadness you try so hard to hide 

Have in fact made you Love yourself again 

You are enough,

complete 

Someone is gonna love you 

As you are

Beautiful soul

Warm heart

You glow with so much life and love within 

You deserve to be at peace with yourself 

and

embrace the love from someone who loves like you do

He is waiting for you,

Beautiful you.

Poison

How do you look at yourself in the mirror

Knowing that you lie to yourself and to others 

How do you stand tall

When you fall short in being a gentleman.

How do you laugh

When you have made her cry

How do you sleep at night

When you are the reason she lays awake.

How do you continue living with yourself 

Knowing you are the reason for her grief.

What do you see in yourself 

When you can't be true to yourself 

Look, yes take a look at yourself in the mirror once again, 

Now live with what you see.

You can only rely on one person in your life

I've realized that nobody is responsible for you. You come to this world alone and you leave it alone.

If you wanna be happy, you do things that make you happy because nobody is gonna be responsible for your happiness. They might do or say things that make you happy but they can't and won't be doing it forever. 

They may be your partner, friend or family but people change, nothing remains the same -- not me or you either.  The good times never last and neither do the bad times. You just go through all the moments and live it.

If you give up your independence for someone make sure you know what is in store for you. You don't want to wake up one day and realize you sacrificed so

much for someone who merely took you for granted. You were both in the same car but had different destinations on your minds. 

For a few weeks now I had wanted to get a hold of a book called 'Bringing Home The Birkin' and someone told me he will try to get a hold of it but I guess he had forgotten about it. 

Anyway, I was in Kinokuniya today to buy another book but at the same time I asked the sales person about this book. I remembered about this book. And I was so happy they had a copy of it and I've already started reading it  -- devouring every page. Finally. 

I guess my point is people forget what you tell them and what matters to you (to get this book because I need it for my business) and if you really want something then just go and get it yourself. 

Just like being happy, go do stuff, whatever you want, even if you can't afford a glass of Moet, go bloody drink it if that makes you happy! 

If life gives you lemons ...

I'm having a pretty crappy day so I thought I'll try and stay positive by coming up with different variations to this.

If life gives you lemons ...

1) you grab a bottle of grey goose and tonic and get sloshed.

2) you add it to water and have a healthy alkaline drink!

3) you squirt some on your ex's eyes.

4) you make lemonade, drink it and shut up.

5) you find someone who life has given them vodka, and you both have a party. 

6) you exchange them for some ice-cream.

Life Oh Life, Beaten But Not Broken

I have recently experienced a gamut of emotions that have made me question life, and why someone that claimed to love you at some point in time turns around and cause you so much heartache.

I believe good and evil reside in all of us. For whatever reason it may be people can be evil and do things out of the norm; acting selfish without thinking of the pain they are inflicting on you.

I believe in karma, and I know that one day the people that have hurt me will beg for my forgiveness. So for now, I'm letting go of all the crap. I'm all cried out.

Some people come into your life for a short period of time, make you learn and grow and then they exit from your life so that you may continue this journey. One day I will look back at this period of my life and thank the person. This will be a blessing.

I have been through so much pain in life that I think it has numbed me. What hasn't destroyed me has toughened me instead. All I can say is, the cancer was easy to handle compared to the betrayal of a loved one.

And now I must move on to better things that are in store for me. I'm looking forward to my new life.


The Four Heavenly Fountains by Suzy Kassem

Laugh I tell you 

And you will turn back

the hands of time

Smile I tell you 

And you will reflect 

the face of the divine

Sing I tell you

And all the angels will sing with you

Cry I tell you

And the reflections found in your pool of tears 

Will remind you of the lessons of today and yesterday

To guide you through the fears of tomorrow

Why I need a personal trainer

I've finally listened to my oncologist's advice and started exercising. I'm one person who gets bored going to the gym -- in the past I'll go faithfully for a few weeks then just drop out. Something about routine that I dislike. 

So this time I decided to get a personal trainer to push me into getting fit. I hope it will get me committed to my goal of getting fit. I've no choice but to do whatever he asks me to and I quite like it.

It's personalized and I can't hide or not do the exercises. I also know he has a plan for my workout and it varies as I get better and stronger. I'm actually feeling much better and fitter. 

The workout starts with a 30-minute training followed by 30 minutes of FIR which means I sit in a wooden cabin and pretty much sweat buckets. The first time I couldn't even last in there for 10 minutes straight but today the 30 minutes flew by. 

And once I'm done they give me a smoothie which varies from fat burner to an energiising concoction; think I've tried three types already. All yummy.

So far it's been 2 weeks and I'm glad I didn't wait any longer to get fit. Still a long way to go but soon I'll go for the one hour training. 

Woohoo! Watch me get fit:) 

Now is the time to do all the things you always wanted to do

I love learning new stuff. And I always loved painting whether it was on Tshirts or glasses. I just feel so happy and relaxed when I have an outlet for my creativity.

I love doodling flowers and so when I learnt there was a class concentrating on flowers I had to sign up for it. It was great learning new colouring techniques and also to meet and mingle with people who shared the same interest. 

I never tire of learning new stuff. Doesn't matter what I'm always reading up and signing up for online courses. 

If you always wanted to learn something new or to refresh what you already know, just go do it. Stop putting it off. 

My Saturday afternoon was well spent when I look at my first attempt at water colour painting and the pretty flowers I painted. 😝