I spoke to an old friend yesterday and he said that he was in search of the perfect partner for himself. But first he was gonna work on himself so that when he met her he would already be 'ready' to invest in a relationship. That makes sense; if you want something good then you better have something good to offer too and be ready for a relationship.
All my life I never really prepared myself consciously before I got ready to be in a relationship. It just happened. When you fall in love, you simply fall. Just went with the flow, stupidly in love. That's the Aquarian in me, when we fall we fall hard. Maybe I didn't even give myself time to be alone and to reflect on my own weaknesses and what I really wanted and what needed to be worked on or healed.
That figures as to why perhaps I didn't know when I met someone who were pretty much my soul mate but I was naive and screwed up. Looking back I had a couple of very good relationships (of course along with the horrible ones I wrote about before) -- perhaps those would have worked out if I went prepared to be in a relationship.
Now, even while being in a relationship, I'm working on myself more. Some habits and ways are not easy to change especially at my age, so I do feel like a bipolar on most days.
Note to self: look within, work within before you look outside for love or expect your partner to be perfect for you. ❤️
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